His voicemail

 You met him on a random Monday in a bookstore,
Bumped into him and his books fell onto the floor,
Out of shock, you stumbled and accidentally swore,
He laughed, and the sound made your heart soar,

Conversations between you were so effortless,
The happiness he brought you was measureless,
Months of being together in complete bliss,
He said if he didn’t marry you he’d be remiss,

Two days before the wedding his mother called,
Said there had been an accident, your heart stalled,
Staring at the new bookshelf he had just installed,
Your world shattered and on the ground you bawled,

You knew he was gone, wouldn’t answer his phone,
His body laid to rest underneath dirt and a stone,
It did you no good to listen to his voice after the tone,
But you just couldn’t handle the feeling of being alone,

Weeks passed, yet the pain just would not go away,
The sun was shining outside but all you saw was grey,
Strong winter winds made the trees bend and sway,
Calling his number, his voicemail kept the tears at bay,

Months passed, and winter turned to spring,
Your neighbours bought a brand-new swing,
You called again just to hear his voice after the ring,
People moved forward, you held on to the sting,

Years passed, people moved on, you stayed dejected,
The idea of you moving on without him was rejected,
His voicemail message is what kept you collected,
Until you called and the number was disconnected.


-Amy x

Checkmate

 “Falling in love is amazing, it truly is a must”
Words that broke through her inherent distrust,
So she left her beloved armour behind to rust,
cleaned up the heart chambers that gathered dust,

She learned that she was shy, quick to blush,
To be loved is a privilege, it is grand and lush,
But unrequited love didn’t have the same rush,
Falling was great until she felt the bones crush,

With her guard down she had to feel it all,
On the ground, bewildered, she had to crawl,
Never-ending torment made her feel small,
And that was the beginning of her downfall,

She was clinging to all the wrong arms,
Agony like the bullets of a dozen firearms,
That kind of love doesn’t heal, it harms,
And she was stupid to fall for its charms,

She found herself bound to stone-cold cement,
Chains restraining her without her consent,
Hoarsely screaming “Help, please, I’ll repent”
But not a single helpful soul was present,

Weary and spent, she accepted her fate,
Apologies were made, but it was far too late,
Noose around her neck, holding her dead weight,
Right before her execution, she heard: “Checkmate”


-Amy x

Perseverance

 I love with my whole heart and it got me in trouble,
The first time I bravely tried getting out of my bubble,
I care too much, give my all, and love way too hard,
Never would’ve cared if I knew it’d leave me scarred,

You were always good at making me feel small,
Throwing me to the ground so I have to crawl,
Made me feel like my feelings didn’t matter,
And I lost my mind like Alice’s mad hatter,

Surviving you was my greatest achievement,
Living through the constant aggrievement,
But you soon learned I never stay down,
And a clown will never snatch away my crown,

Yet the broken heart never stopped me,
I was never in jail but I am now finally free,
Emotional shackles ain’t holding me back,
Deciding it’s time to get my life back on track,

I still love wholeheartedly but I’m cautious,
Keep people at arm’s length but still gracious,
I’m still strong despite the chinks in my armour,
And without your drama, my life is much calmer,

So now let’s dot the i's and cross the t's,
Vicious lies don’t bring me to my knees,
And I no longer get the feeling of unease,
I’m completely free of you and finally at ease,

And so I turn the page, ending the chapter,
Moving on filled me with an immense rapture,
Closing this book and placing it on the shelf,
It’s now time for me to look after myself.


-Amy x

Tolerated

 She was always the shoulder people cried on,
There to answer all the calls even if it was dawn,
The one that catered to their every whim and need,
The one who repeatedly lost so that they’d succeed,

They said a good friend would lend a helping hand,
So she went along with their asks and every demand,
They said a good friend wouldn’t whine or complain,
So she held her tongue and covered up her pain,

“You take such good care of those around you”
“You give them your all even if you’re feeling blue”
Words said to her that only fuelled her raging fire,
Until one day she snapped and they all felt her ire,

Pain that she held back for years was finally released,
And every pacifying move or word made it increase,
She couldn’t have been expected to remain so strong,
When her so-called friends had done her so wrong,

For years they used her kindness for their own gain,
And in return treated her like an old dirty stain,
So replaceable, they didn’t bother sticking around,
When the wolves came they threw her to the ground,

So when she finally stood up for herself and fought,
Against being treated as a measly afterthought,
When she demanded they show her some respect,
They sneered and denied any wrongdoing or neglect,

So she put herself first and decided to let them go,
They turned on her and delivered blow after blow,
Until she lay there battered and then they grunt,
Gathering their pitchforks and going on a witch hunt,

Her love and sacrifices should’ve been appreciated,
Not taken for granted, overlooked or merely tolerated,
And so with a heavy heart, she left it all behind,
And promised herself she’d be cautious but stay kind,

Years later, making friends was still a little tough,
But with true friends who always tell her she’s enough,
She doesn’t sit back and think about all that she lost,
And the very heavy price her sacrifices had cost,

She now thinks of that time as a lesson learned,
And knows her love and affection must be earned,
Her true friends know her heart and her soul,
And with their help, she realised she was whole.

-Amy x

Cursed Alter

Once upon a time, there was a plan,
Two families seeking an alliance,
She said she wanted a loving man,
He was just looking for compliance,

They said their fate was set in stone,
And so they needed to tie the knot,
And in front of a priest with a baritone,
They were married without a second thought,

But an alliance doesn’t equal a good match,
They were both poisoning each other,
He thought her freedom he could snatch,
She thought he was a baby looking for a mother,

She tried to get rid of him multiple times,
But he’d miraculously survived her tries,
She needed an accomplice for her crimes,
But he found out and his rage was their demise,

He thought he had married a saint,
But the alter was cursed, honey,
The red on his hands wasn’t paint,
Both of them were in it for the money,

And so he went to jail for her death,
And her coffin was buried in the ground,
They thought he had stolen her last breath,
On the other side of the country she was found,

She had taken the money and his pride,
While he was rotting away in a dingy jail,
He was a fool and she was a cunning bride,
That was always gonna be the end of their tale.


-Amy x

The aftermath

The war was over and I thought all was well,
But the flashbacks remained, a pain I couldn’t quell,
I thought I was the devil cause I went through hell,
And they were the demons I couldn’t expel,

My heart was a mess, my mind was reeling,
I wasn’t even sure what exactly I was feeling,
But once I realized they were double-dealing,
I ripped off the bandaid and focused on healing,

I wasn’t the reason for their every fault and flaw,
My existence didn’t have to feel like a big faux pas,
They didn’t have to come at me with a hacksaw,
Just because I decided to save myself and withdraw,

People in your life can be a blessing or a curse,
The warning signs were there, clear and terse,
I was the caretaker, the servant, the nice nurse,
They were darkness and something much worse,

Acts of love shouldn’t have been demanded of me,
They didn’t have to command me to bend the knee,
I wasn’t a broken girl in search of a chosen family,
I was the phoenix rising from the ashes and debris,

I may be flawed but I have goodness in my heart,
And some people like to tear the good ones apart,
They think they’re on top, they’re the rich and smart,
But on the inside, they’re hollow, all rotten and tart,

War with them had repercussions, it was no fun,
But even with the pain and scars, it turns out I won,
Because in the end, after it was all said and done,
I learned that I was never really the broken one. 

 

-Amy x